Cloud-Native Cringe
You were looking for booty pics? LMAO.
We leverage best-in-class absurdity to deliver a domain fit for a goober. Scalable. Reliable. Retarded.
Get Started
We leverage best-in-class absurdity to deliver a domain fit for a goober. Scalable. Reliable. Retarded.
Get Started
Trusted by industry leaders who no longer exist
Designed for modern cringe deployments.
Optimized for maximum latency. We route your packets via cats on segways.
Our backup strategy is literally just crying in the shower.
Protected by 8 furry hacker twinks on a Discord call.
Hear from the victims of our infrastructure.
"Before FartKnot, I was a straight guy getting a nice education. Now, I became a rainbow-furred freak and lost everyone I knew to the demon that now keeps me in the closet. 10/10 would recommend!"
"The absolute amazement I feel as a result of this gaming service, Never in my life have i felt more violated, truly the best website of all time, 10/10 would get pissed on by a cat again"
Pay us money to lose your data.
